Phone a Friend: Advice from Fletcher.

"For me, writing has always been the best version of therapy. I think it's always been a way for me to process what I'm going through and get the feelings outside of my head and body and turn them into something more tangible that I can listen to and share," confides Los Angeles-based artist Fletcher (full name: Cari Elise Fletcher) about the cathartic experience of songwriting. She continues: "It’s still a really weird thing for me writing a song about something so personal and then getting to hear how other people relate to it and what their stories have been. However, it’s such a beautiful process that makes dealing with complicated feelings a lot less lonely and makes me feel super connected and understood. Ever since I released 'Undrunk' and the entirety of 'you ruined new york city for me' to now 'Bitter' and 'THE S(EX) TAPES', I’ve realised how truly freeing and healing it is to just put it all out there and to be completely vulnerable with the world. I don't bullshit, and people see and experience me for all that I am: the good, the bad, the empowered, the ugly, the crying on the bathroom floor."

It's this multifaceted honesty running through all of Fletcher's music that endears her to anyone that's ever struggled with hard feelings. And with her new EP, 'THE S(EX) TAPES', Fletcher continues to hold up a mirror to aspects of society that other artists tend to shy away from, championing the importance of sex positivity being normalised. Fletcher says: "I'm always brutally honest with my feelings, oversharing is caring is for me. With that being said, I think it's really important to show people all sides of who I am as a woman and as an artist. Sex is normal, sex is fun, sex is complicated, sex is with whoever you want it to be with. I hope that me sharing my experiences so openly will inspire others to do so, or to feel less weird about doing so. Men have been talking about sex and their sexual experiences in music since forever, yet there still seems to be such a stigma around women talking about pleasure and our sexuality. I think it's beyond important for society to continuously hear stories about women having agency over their bodies and embracing their sexual power, in a way that isn’t confined and isn’t slut-shamed. With Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s most recent release of 'WAP', I was like, 'Helllll yes, telll us about that. Wet. Ass. Pussy.' We stan sex positivity for all genders. The more we talk about it, the more we normalise it."

"Is it worth the price? What have I gotten into?" Fletcher asks in EP highlight 'Sex (With My Ex)' after succumbing to a moment of weakness. Do you have answers to those questions yet? "If I’m being completely honest, I’m still figuring out how to deal with moments of weakness. I’ve never really been good at handling them, and I’ve always tried to escape the anxiety that surrounds it. Practicing self-control and learning how to let go of something is probably one of life’s hardest lessons that I'm still really in the thick of at the moment. I'm always getting myself into some sort of trouble, it's like in my DNA or something… but at some point, people have to be willing to draw the line somewhere and set boundaries when/if things start to feel unhealthy as it is a very real part of life and relationships and something I'm currently learning how to handle as I continue learning and growing."

We ask her: How do you think these cycles of toxic relationships can be broken? "I think cycles like this are really hard to break... I know they're hard to break. I experienced a toxic relationship when I was at NYU which I wrote about in 'you ruined new york city for me' ('If You're Gonna Lie' is me at peak emotionally abused and confused). For me, it was almost impossible to see what the relationship was doing to me until I was on the outside of it. There’s never gonna be a time that feels like the right time to leave as it’s just about mustering up the strength in you to realise you are worth so much more. Relationships aren’t supposed to hurt that much, and they should amplify who you are and not dim your light. While 'THE S(EX) TAPES' is rather about the ending of a healthy and loving relationship, and the complexity within that and how it’s the antithesis of my last — what still remains is the painful self-growth of breaking a cycle. I need to sit in silence to process hurting and to find healing and to figure out what I can implement for myself to make the rest of my life an ever-evolving line of self-improvement and self-love vs. an all-consuming circle that keeps me dependent on anyone else but myself."

And on her upcoming plans? "Honestly, at first I was all fuck 2020 - I was supposed to release my debut album, tour across the world, and with friends Niall Horan and Lewis Capaldi, among many other things... but now I feel somewhat grateful for this moment. My wounds are being ripped open. All questions and no answers to the forefront. It's been a reckoning moment and one of reflection to really help recharge me as both a human being and artist for the rest of my life. There's beauty in this process, and I'm putting it all into my art... and putting that art out into the world to connect with others (which is the only reason I really do this)! I'm super excited to continue putting out projects, and to find ways to perform for the Fletchfam soon. x"

ADVICE FROM A PERSON GOING THROUGH IT ALL, FLETCHER.
 
1. stop telling yourself stories... and just be.

2. tell the people you love that you love them.

3. spend time alone, and take time to know yourself. you’ll learn so much.

4. get a good therapist.

5. drink tequila often.

6. don’t try to run away from bad feelings. they’ll never go away. be with them.

7. be patient with yourself.

8. be kind... it’s free.

9. don’t make excuses and stop lying to yourself.

10. eat a lot of cheese.

Fletcher's new EP 'THE S(EX) TAPES' is out now. Listen below: